Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Soft Furnishings for the Living and the Undead

2014 had its ups and downs in our living room.  The couch Whusband picked out from the Cabela's catalog was the main source of the highs and lows.  It reclined on the ends, but not in the middle.  It was leather.  We mostly liked it, while it lasted.  That would be about six months.

Cabela's agreed to take it back but required that it be wrapped.  Here is part of the email I sent to them on the hot summer night when we were trying to get it ready for the truck.

This couch is the last Cabela's product I will ever buy.

This whole thing has been a nightmare. 

[Whusand] sent pictures of the problem weeks ago.  Instead of either 1.) relying on those and refunding our money or 2.) sending someone to have a look and refunding our money or 3.) sending someone to pack and ship the thing back to you, we have been required to WRAP a piece of furniture that must weigh over a hundred pounds and is more than seven feet long.  

I recommend that before you require the next couch-returning customer to package their defective couch for return shipping that you try this yourselves, perhaps in the break room at customer service, so you have some sense of what it is like to accomplish such a feat in an American living room.  I'm thinking of writing to our armed forces to suggest that couch-wrapping be added to the training regimen of the Navy Seals, or perhaps it would make good television on American Ninjas.  

Are you surprised that I had no response from our friends at Cabela's?

After the couch-returning trauma we were too depleted to consider a new couch.  We've been making do with a couple of chairs for months.  One of these seems to be made of concrete wrapped in pleather and the other is a broken swivel number that requires good balancing skills.

Finally, probably because of Christmas good cheer, and good feeling, and vacation, which means we have been hanging out in the living room coping with the crappy chairs, Whusband got back on the internet and started couch shopping.  Yesterday, he sent two proposals for a new couch.  One like this:

My country, tis of thee...

And one like this:

It's even called a "Chesterfield."  Trust fund not included

My husband has always wanted a really classy sofa like that Chesterfield.  Both couches have a similar price tag.  So which to choose? Comfort, cupholders and the power to recline or Good Taste?

I showed the pictures to the Infanta who wasted no time.  Though she pointed out that you couldn't properly sleep in the home-theater seating couch (though a person could nap VERY WELL and often), it was no contest.

"That one with the buttons looks like furniture for vampires. Vampires are always pushing people down onto couches like that."

The order for the the reclining number goes in today.  Who wants to come over and watch a movie at our house in 2015?