Sunday, August 02, 2009

Speaking of Red-Hot Pokers....

I have been speaking to myself of red hot pokers for the last day and half, and now, at 2:39 AM, I am down here on my laptop to speak of them to anyone who makes the mistake of dropping by here.

The topic is much on my mind because I have managed, through a combination of apparently injudicious swimming in a friend's pond (really, it's a beautiful pond) and our backyard paddling pool, to pick up an ear infection. After introducing the bacteria to my ear canal, I made them especially welcome by using a cotton swab to establish a fertile furrow in which they could blossom and grow. (Well, it was itchy in there!) As they bloomed, I invited them to have an orgy by jamming in my ear buds for a couple of hours (so I could listen to Adele on my daughter's iPod as I mowed the lawn on Thursday evening).

I had the sense things weren't quite right in that ear by Friday morning. So, in what I thought was an abundance of caution, I got into see a nurse practitioner before going in to work. She practically recoiled at the sight of my ear canal. "Oh my goodness!" were her exact words, which was quaint, but she looked alarmed.

My ear canal was, apparently, like Bourbon Street on the first day of Lent - actually - Mardi Gras, bacteriologically speaking, was still in full swing. She pointed at some kind of emergency kit in a red plastic case in the examining room and said that the inside of my ear was the same color. The "p" word - ok - "pus" - was thrown about. "Really?" I said. "Ewwwww. It actually doesn't hurt that much." Did I actually say that? Am I stupid? (Don't answer that). Anyway, I think the bacteria took that as a challenge.

I thought I was ready for them. I took my prescription for ear drops and penicillin straight to the pharmacy and got started straight away.

And yet, things got worse all day and are still going downhill. Did you know there are lymph nodes in front of and under your ear? Mine are now asserting themselves in a very unpleasant manner. They are practically big enough to get names of their own, like puppies. I'll call the one in front "Sparky" and the one beneath "Hotspur." Every heart beat is registered on what's left of my ear drum. Making matters worse, the infected ear is my "good one" (those who have borne with me here know my right ear is already shot).

My EAR INFECTION has me wondering how people, and you have probably heard of such people, those who have actual major health problems - war wounds, cancer, terrible burns, etc. manage to cope. How do they, for instance, get any sleep?

It is Sunday morning, at least officially. My ear had me saying my prayers, and this helped. I am also hopped up on ibuprofen. No doubt this is also helping. Sitting up also seems to bring a bit of relief. So, I'll go read a few blogs now.

Since I know how fascinating this is I will be back with an update, if I live.


The first blog I went to is the ever-fascinating one kept by "the Projectivist." She has a link on her current post where you can make yourself over into a character suitable for the show Mad Men. This is sort of what I think I would look like if I were in the show:

Here's a close up:

I don't smoke, but if I had been an adult in the 1960s I am sure I would have. Wasn't I just talking about cancer? OK. Off to do more reading.