Saturday, December 12, 2009

N.F.A.D.


Back when Architectural Digest was in in its 1980s glory, I read that its managing editor frequently deployed the acronym, "N.F.A.D" - "not for Architectural Digest." (Like maybe, when she was faced with photos of a home owned by a celebrity lower down the food chain than Demi Moore and Bruce Willis).

"N.F.A.D. occurs to me frequently when I am confronted by what some might call bad taste. It occurred to me when I got back to the Last House a week ago and discovered that, in my absence, Whusband had replaced the oak toilet seat (itself a replacement) on our 1950s salmon-colored toilet with a cushiony, white vinyl number - the lid of which is decorated with fish.

We have always been N.F.A.D. around here but in this particular we have shown that we are oh so N.F.A.D.

We burned the oak seat in our outdoor fireplace last weekend. I felt a druidic instinct to say a little thanks to it as it fell into coals. Farewell old friend.

Wouldn't you say it's true: "By their bathrooms ye shall know them?" I'll bet the editor of Architectural Digest would agree.

Believe it or not, I have a lot more I could say about all this (our one bathroom and its rich history), but I have to go make a salad for dinner.

I hate to leave you hanging, but at least now you have a reason to go on living. Come back soon.

5 comments:

R. Sherman said...

Frankly, I'm not sure how anyone with children could have a habitat that is not NFAD. Lord knows, until such time as my 13 year old's almost sentient dirty underwear are killed with an ash stake through the open fly, our home will be leading the NFAD pack.

Cheers.

Lulu LaBonne said...

I have one toilet seat that swerves to the side when one sits on it no matter how many times I've replaced it and refitted the wretched thing, the other bathroom has a trumpetting tap. Do you think a house expresses what it thinks of it's owners in this way?

Madame DeFarge said...

The toilet seat sounds fantastic in a really bad type of way. I think we need a photo. Really, I do.

btw, how's the writing coming along?

KSV Woolfoot said...

Thanks for your comments and sorry for my delay in responding. We only have internet on the weekends now as we have relocated to Stowe and the Last House is relgated to weekend retreat. I am hoping Christmas will bring internet to our Stowe digs.

Anyway R - I saw a TV special about a couple (he was an architect) who were building their own white cube. The aesthetic demanded that no surface ever have any objects placed upon it. They had three young children. ???? Husband and wife agreed on this. It did look fabulous but how could this possibly be sustained? I think the producers should go back and see what it looks like a year or two later.

Lulu - Shouldn't the English language have a word for that swerve of the toilet seat? Is there one in French? Did you see the Amityville Horror (or read the book) back in the 1970s? I recall "the house" yelling at the ocupants to "GET OUT!" Maybe your house is saying, "get out of the bathroom, please."

Mme. I'll try for a picture this weekend.

And aren't you a dear for asking about my magnum opus? Well, it stalled with the loss of the lap top. I have done some rewriting of the early pages and read some later ones with disgust. Oh well. I haven't given up completely.

the projectivist said...

one of my toilet seats must be related to Lulu's toilet seat!

i keep thinking that i must replace it, which we all know is never going to happen, but it comforts me to pretend.

i hope that you have a lovely Christmas KSV! xxx