Sorry Mr. Gorey but I couldn't help myself. I know it's really nothing without brilliant illustrations but I can't draw. I hope you'll be flattered and not annoyed.
A Lesser Tragi-Comic Alphabet
“A” is Adelaide who fell off the wall.
“B” is for Basil who was a little too small.
[N.B. Potential collaborating illustrators: I picture a kid falling out of an amusement park ride here]
“C” is for Chester, who ate something he found.
“D” is for Daphne, whose boat ran aground.
“E” is for Everard whose name led to teasing.
“F” is for Felix, who ended up freezing.
“G” is Gordon, cursed by a wizard.
“H” is for Humboldt, who caught a bolt in his gizzard.
["bolt" as in arrow from a crossbow].
“”I is for Isolde, who put her fork in a socket.
“J” is Jonathan, caught in a sprocket.
“K” is for Kaleb, whose balance was bad.
“L” is for Lottie, incurably mad.
“M” is for Michael, who skipped a key class.
“N” is for Nils, bloated by gas.
“O” is for Otto, who thought he could fly.
“P” is for Paul, who told him to try.
“Q” is for Quincy who didn’t stop to explain.
“R” is for Redmond, too slow for the train.
“S” is for Sarah, who escaped with a scratch.
“T” is for Titus, who picked the wrong batch.
“U” is for Uncas who crashed in a glider.
“V” is for Viv, who sat down on a spider.
“W” is for Winston, who walked out at night.
“X” is for Xavier, whose friends weren’t too bright.
“Y” is for Yolande who snuck under the rope.
“Z” is for Zenia, undone by the slope.